His Love is Pain: A Dark Mafia Billionaire Romance (Amatucci Family Book 2) Read online

  His Love is Pain

  Amatucci Family Book Two

  Sadie Jacks

  2020 Sadie Jacks

  All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means–electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise- without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by the United States copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher at [email protected]

  This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, brands and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or places is entirely coincidental.

  Please note that this e-book is ONLY distributed through Amazon. If you obtained this copy from elsewhere, please email the author on the email address above, as this is a pirated copy.

  Editing by Niki Trento-Spencer

  Cover design by Natasha Williams with Dazed Designs. www.dazed-designs.com

  1st Edition

  Other books by Sadie Jacks

  Amatucci Family Series

  Chase the Pain (Released August 28, 2020)

  His Love is Pain (the book you’re reading right now)

  Sweet Pain (releasing October 30, 2020)

  Each of the Amatucci siblings will be getting at least one book of their own. Stay tuned in my Facebook group (www.facebook.com/groups/sadies.seekers) for the most recent release information.

  Circle of the Stars – PNR RH

  Breakaway (released August 14, 2020)

  Bonded (releasing on September 11, 2020)

  Brutal (releasing October 9, 2020)

  Brilliance (releasing November 13, 2020)

  Iron Serpent Chronicles (series complete).

  Not your typical PNR RH. This series takes a wide step to the side in terms of harems. Please note, not all characters introduced at the beginning of the series are in one harem. But every main character does get their happily ever after.

  Caged Magic

  Wild Magic

  Warring Magic

  Broken Magic

  Magic Freed

  Dedication

  First and always, Jesus Christ. Without you, none of this would be possible. Thanks.

  Niki and Cherrie: You lovelies continue to be my rock and sanity in all the craziness that is life. Again, remind me never to try to release two books in one month. That is not one of my superpowers.

  Karly, Kat, Mary, Theresa (AKA my angel dragons): You ladies make me happy every day for being an author. Thanks for letting me share my stories, my life, and for sharing your lives with me.

  My Alpha team: you kids kicked butt and helped me whip this story into shape. It’s the longest book I’ve ever written and it’s because of you. So thanks!

  Mom and Dad, my first cheerleaders. I love you for all the things. But most importantly, for showing me what a Christ-led life looks like.

  P.S. Grandma—That PG13 version is going to knock your pants off. It just might be a hot minute before I can get it into your hands. Thanks for your love and support, Grandma. Love you, too.

  TRIGGER WARNING: This book is for mature readers. Please be aware that there is talk of potentially triggering topics within this book with references and/or detailed descriptions of violence, physical, mental abuse, rape, suicide, murder, and other sensitive topics that some readers may find offensive.

  Chapter 1 – Willow

  I clenched my eyes shut and sucked in huge gasps of air as beautiful pain assaulted my body. Overwhelmed my mind. Brought me back into myself. Somehow, I’d forgotten Ethan had cut me open and shoved an electrode inside my thigh. I hissed out a breath as the last forty-eight hours flashed through my mind in bits and pieces.

  “Cupcake?” Ryker called.

  I opened my eyes, looking up into his bright green gaze. “Yeah?”

  His face was mere inches from my own. “Kiss me like that again and I won’t care who is around or where we are, I’ll finish it.” His steady gaze and quirked lips turned the pain washing through my system into a deeper, darker prelude.

  I smiled. “Oh yeah?”

  The door to my private room slid open. The familiar low squeak of soles on cold floors reached my ears.

  I felt the breath back up in my lungs. No. No. No. He can’t be here. I can’t be here.

  My heart seized inside my chest until I got a good look at the body inside the dark blue scrubs. Ethan had never had breasts—that I knew about, anyway. This couldn’t possibly be him.

  Ryker’s hand engulfed mine. “Doctor Sweeten,” he said. His voice was colder than the arctic tundra during winter. “Please knock before striding through like you own the joint.”

  The statuesque doctor looked up from her tablet, glared at him. “Mr. Penn, how unpleasant to see you again. Your grandmother’s room is not in this wing, as you well know. Please remove yourself from my patient’s vicinity.”

  I bit my lip to keep from letting my mouth gape open. From my short acquaintance of Ryker Penn, world renowned tech billionaire, he didn’t get treated like an errant school child. And certainly not by the opposite sex.

  Ryker snorted. “Cut the shit, Jessalyn. You’re going to make her think you don’t like me.” Ryker shot the doctor a sexy, lopsided smile.

  The doctor looked at me. “That’s because I don’t like him. I only like his money.” She shot me a wink as she pushed her blonde hair over her shoulder. “He’s too bossy by half and always foisting new technology on me and my hospital.”

  “Because being the highest ranked private hospital is such a burden.”

  Dr. Sweeten smiled. “It is nice. Enough chit chat.” She turned to me, her pale gray eyes alive with intelligence and good humor. “I’ve been given strict orders,” she flicked her eyes up to Ryker, back down to me “to make sure you’re not given anything more potent than over the counter NSAIDs. I have some questions for you in regard to that. But right now, I need to know, are you in unmanageable pain right now?”

  I blinked a couple times, tried to process her words. No medical professional had ever asked me a question like that. Ever. Most of the time, they tried to shove their narcotics down my throat for a headache or a hangnail.

  I shook my head, a little amazed.

  She smiled. “Did you even do a body scan?”

  I felt heat touch my cheeks for a moment. Did the internal check. My right leg was aching and burning, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t deal with. I shook my head again. “I’m good.”

  She nodded, made a note on her tablet. “Have you been addicted to narcotics in the past?”

  I wanted to scream and rage that it had never been my choice. I didn’t have a drug problem. I didn’t have any kinds of problems with substances. All I could do was give her a tight smile as I shook my head. “I’ve never been addicted to them. Never willingly taken them.”

  Her head came up, her eyes narrowed. “That’s interesting phrasing. One could then infer that someone forced them on you. Would that be correct?”

  I nodded slowly. Excitement and trepidation swamped me. That someone in the medical field would actually believe me made me a little lightheaded. I gripped Ryker’s hand tighter. Clung to him as if he were my lifeline in the suddenly stormy sea of being believed instead of dismissed.

  He didn’t know, not fully, what had happened to me at the hands of Ethan. But he’d taken my word as gospel and not let them dose me with anything else. Had protected me
even while I had been unconscious. Again.

  And for some reason, he thought he was a bad guy. Bad men didn’t respect the wishes of virtual strangers. Not in my experience.

  Dr. Sweeten smiled, the corners of her mouth a little low. “I’m sorry that happened to you. Are you a pain seeker?”

  I felt my entire body seize up. Shit. How the heck was I supposed to answer that? She’d lock me up if I said yes. I was awfully familiar with the psychological testing required for pain seeking. The seventy-two hour holds were enforced by the state if you admitted to engaging in self-harm behaviors. I’d been too quick to let my guard down.

  I couldn’t say anything else. Not now. Not this close to being set free.

  She leaned down, spoke softly. “I’m not trying to lock you away.”

  Ryker snorted, pulled my gaze to him. “I’d like to see her try it.”

  I looked back at the woman who controlled my immediate future. Dr. Sweeten rolled her eyes at Ryker before she continued. “I don’t typically share family information with my patients. But as what I’m about to share has immediate relevance, I’m going to break one of my own rules.” She took a deep breath, pushed it out. “I have a family member who is pain seeking. My family member has the accompanying traumatic history and all the assorted difficulties associated with that.”

  She shot me a sad smile. “This family member doesn’t do it for the feeling of pain, per se. But rather to assure oneself of life. This family member knows the limits of the pain the member’s body can process. We’ve had long talks about it. It has taken me a number of years to understand the difference for this family member, but, I assure you, I do not always equate pain seeking with self-harm.” She held my gaze.

  Ryker squeezed my hand gently.

  I looked up at him.

  “You can trust her, cupcake. That’s why she’s your doctor.”

  Tears burned at the back of my eyes as my heart melted at this man’s feet. We were going to have some long discussions about why he thought he merited bad guy status. If he could take me as broken as I was, then he would be mine to help heal as well.

  I looked back at the doctor. Her expression hadn’t changed. It was still open and steady. Waiting without condemnation. Understanding without censure.

  “Yes, I’m a pain seeker.”

  She nodded, made a note on her tablet. “Thank you for trusting me. I’m making a note in your file about not having narcotics or any sedatives or anesthesia if possible.” She looked up from her tablet. “If it happens, not that I think it will, but if you need surgery again, we’ll make sure to give you the least effective dose during and to wean you as quickly as possible post-surgery. Do you know what I mean by that term?”

  I nodded. “The least amount of any drug to produce the needed effects.”

  She smiled. “Wonderful. I need your promise on something though.”

  I nodded again.

  “If, at any time, you feel more pain than you can process on your own, you tell me. I won’t give you anything that will incapacitate you or alter your mental state, but I can give you something to take the edge off. We need your body healing, not stressing itself.” She stuck out her hand. “Do you promise?”

  I tried to get Ryker to let go of my right hand so I could shake hers.

  He snorted. “You’ve got two. Give her your other one.”

  I laughed and offered Dr. Sweeten my left hand. “I promise.”

  We shook on it.

  “Good. Now that that’s sorted, I have a favor to ask. If you get a chance—and are willing—once you’ve been released, I’d love to talk to you about your relationship to pain. How you process it, how you deal with it, how you live with it. Very professional talk in a very informal setting.” She smiled at me, nodded.

  I nodded along with her, wanting to do whatever would make her happy.

  Her gray eyes sparkled under the bright lights. “Wonderful. I’ll set that up once you’ve been released.”

  I chuckled. “You’re sneaky. I like that.”

  The skin around her eyes crinkled as she laughed. “I get that a lot.” She put my hand back on the bed next to my side. “Now, onto the reason you’re still here. Your surgery went well. We were able to repair your femoral artery. There was some damage, but whoever did field triage was able to keep the artery from retracting completely. You’re going to be on bed rest for the next couple of days, but that can be done at home as long as you follow my directions. After bed rest, you’ll be on lifting restrictions, movement restrictions, the whole hog to make sure your body has a chance to heal.”

  She cleared her throat. “I did note some significant soft tissue damage below the area of surgical concern. I saw in your record that you submitted to a forensic nurse exam.” She flicked her eyes up to Ryker, back to me. “If this guy is bothering you, you just let me know. There’s an entire group of angry, hot men out in my waiting area just salivating at the chance to beat him to hell.”

  A laugh flowed from my mouth before I fully registered her words.

  Ryker glared at me. “That’s just rude.”

  Another laugh escaped. I looked at the doctor. “No, it wasn’t him.” I tipped my head to the side as I tried to cast my mind back to that situation. Nothing came up. “I’m actually not sure what is going on with that particular case.” I shook my head. “Either way, I’m safe. I promise.”

  Dr. Sweeten nodded, smiled. “I’ve known Ryker for over a decade. I only feel bad for the guy who did hurt you. Between Ryker and the entourage of Italian hotness out there, the perp doesn’t really stand a chance.”

  Ryker growled low in his throat beside me.

  “Oh stuff it, Ryke. It’s not like you have to prove yourself to the lady. She’s already holding your hand,” Dr. Sweeten said as she rolled her eyes.

  I smiled at her. “I like you. Would you like to get lunch sometime?”

  “Absolutely not,” Ryker interjected. “Not unti…” his voice trailed off. “Not happening.”

  Dr. Sweeten and I looked at Ryker, looked back at each other. “As soon as you’re off movement restrictions?” she offered.

  I nodded. “Love it. It’s a date. You obviously have my information, but I’ll give you my cell number before I leave.”

  Ryker groaned. “Damn it, Jessa.”

  We both laughed.

  Dr. Sweeten cleared her throat. “I’ll get you released for home care. Do you have someone to help you or will you need someone assigned to you?”

  “I’ll be helping her,” Ryker said before I could even open my mouth to respond.

  I raised an eyebrow as I looked up at him. What the hell was this? Was he crazy? “For the next week? While I’m on bed rest? You’re going to be my handmaiden?”

  Dr. Sweeten laughed. “We’re going to be best friends. I can already tell. Take some video. If I don’t see video proof, it didn’t happen. And I need to see that happen.”

  The door slammed open behind her.

  I felt my body jerk.

  “We’re done waiting,” Dom said, his voice rough and gravelly.

  The fear slid away on a greasy wave of relief. “Damn it, Domenico!” I snarled at him. “You can’t just barge in here. You almost gave me a heart attack!”

  He stopped at the foot of my bed, his signature navy suit pants matched with a crisp white shirt that had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The dark skin of his arms a beautiful contrast. His fingers flexed around the foot railing.

  He glared at Ryker. “Leave now. We’ve got her.”

  I’d only heard Dom this angry a couple times in my life. And those times ended with TV reporters mentioning missing persons or recent untimely deaths. I shivered.

  Familiar with how most men reacted to me being under the protection of the Amatucci family, I tried to prepare myself for Ryker to slide away into the ether. To leave me be. To not want the hassle of being an adopted family member of the local crime family.

  “Fuck off, Domenico. She’s
being signed out into my care, not yours. Not your brothers’. Mine. I’ll be by her side. And that’s where I’ll be staying.” Ryker squeezed my fingers lightly.

  My eyes widened. Last I knew Ryker didn’t want anything to do with me. Minus the stuff about the kiss just a minute ago. He was fine dropping me off in the dark parking lot of my bakery and leaving me to fend for myself. I mean, I was going to keep him, but I figured that would take me convincing him to do so.

  Now he was standing up to the mob? The family who ruled New Trenadie with an iron fist and a faster bullet. The man was either crazy, stupid, or thought he needed to prove how big his balls were. I had to admit it though, seeing him stand up to Dom was pretty sexy.

  Dom just smiled as the door opened again.

  I felt like my heart was going to start misfiring with all of these surprises. I’d think my adopted family would know not to sneak up on me in a freaking hospital. My fingers clenched in Ryker’s hand.

  “Sweet fuck. STOP. BARGING. IN HERE. WITHOUT KNOCKING!” Ryker yelled.

  Tali rocked to a halt next to her brother. She narrowed her eyes at Ryker. “Don’t ever talk to me that way again, Mr. Penn. You won’t like the outcome.”

  The room was silent for one vibrating second.

  I held my breath. I knew how fierce my best friend could be. She might look like a princess, but she’d earned her warrior status fair and square.

  She looked at me, her dark eyes softened. “I leave you alone to bake some cakes and find out that you’ve been kidnapped, and my asshole brothers don’t inform me.” She nudged the doctor out of the way.

  I opened my mouth to respond. Tried to tell her it was her phone call that got me through everything. That she’d been the lifeline I’d so desperately needed to keep fighting.

  Ryker cut me off before a single sound escaped my throat. “I called you. They threatened to kill me before it could connect though,” Ryker said. He shot her a grin as he threw her brothers under the proverbial bus. If I wasn’t mistaken, Ryker was prepared to back up and run them over again if the light in his eyes was anything to go by.